Reconciliation Instead of Estrangement — Do Not Respond to Evil with Evil
“Silat ar-Rahim” (maintaining ties of kinship) is a deeply emphasized subject in the teachings of the Ahl al-Bayt (peace be upon them). There are numerous hadiths on this topic. The sheer number of narrations about silat ar-rahim and about the condemnation of cutting off kinship clearly demonstrates the importance of this matter.
In a noble hadith from the Holy Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him), it is said:
“Sil who severs ties with you.”
This hadith provides important and practical guidance on how to act toward those who cut ties with us in any manner. For example: someone arranges a gathering and you expect to be invited, but you are overlooked for some reason; a friend passes by without greeting you; or, most importantly, you have an urgent need and turn to someone for help, but they refuse to assist.
All these, and many other situations, are examples of cutting kinship ties. Most people’s instinctive reaction in such cases is to reciprocate the same behavior: if they are not invited, you don’t invite them; if they don’t greet you, you don’t greet them; if someone turns away from your request, you cut off relations altogether.
From the perspective of the Prophet (peace be upon him), such reactions are unpleasant and wrong. In all these situations, he advises treating those who sever ties with kindness and patience and warns us against responding in kind by severing ties ourselves. Of course, this behavior is not easy. It requires great forbearance to overlook others’ neglect or rudeness and not respond to evil with evil. It could be said confidently that less than one percent of people maintain ties with someone who cuts them off.
Silat ar-Rahim: A Moral Virtue
One of the deeds that leads a person to success in this world and bliss in the Hereafter is to maintain kinship ties with those who have severed them.
As previously mentioned, this is a difficult task but a great virtue. A person needs to acquire virtues to achieve success, and what virtue is greater or more important than silat ar-rahim?
Neglecting this important matter leads to regret in the Hereafter. Those who cut ties face troubles in this world caused by their wrongful behavior and in the Hereafter are deprived of God’s blessings and honor.
A person should always be a bearer of this virtue in their dealings with others. If parents turn away from their children, the children should not respond with estrangement. If a neighbor, friend, colleague, or a fellow student at university or religious seminary becomes upset and aloof, we must not harbor grudges or sever our relationship with them.
All these relationships and others are valuable and should not be easily broken. Possessing this quality is a great virtue. One of human beings’ missions in this world is to acquire moral virtues. Therefore, it is worthy for a person to restrain their desires, hold the reins of their commanding self, and prevent it from rebelling. Success in this requires much practice and perseverance and is gradually attained over time.
When this happens, the beastly nature distances itself from a person and their noble human nature strengthens. Responding to evil with evil is the instinct of wild animals and is not befitting of the exalted rank of humans. Thus, according to our humanity, we should not sever ties with those who have severed ties with us.
In the history of the lives of the infallible Imams, there are many stories about people who severed ties with them, while the Imams dealt with such people generously and with great patience. One of these very painful stories relates to Imam Reza.
Harun al-Rashid, the ruthless Abbasid caliph, after cruelly imprisoning and martyring Imam Musa al-Kadhim, ordered one of his cruel aides named Jalludi to go to Medina and raid the Imam’s household, plundering all the belongings of his wife and children.
Jalludi was one of Harun’s close agents, whose hands were stained with many crimes just like Harun. Many of these criminals’ atrocities have remained hidden in history but will be revealed on the Day of Resurrection. God, in the Qur’an, refers to the Day of Judgment as {Yawm tubla as-sarā’ir; the day when secrets will be exposed}. Harun and his executioners were savage beasts in human clothing whose ugly nature will only be unveiled on that Day. Naturally, Harun’s entourage were like him and were chosen for their criminal deeds.
After killing Imam Musa al-Kadhim, Harun ordered Jalludi to go to Medina and confiscate all the possessions of the Imam’s family, even stealing the clothes and jewelry of the women, leaving each woman and child with only one piece of clothing. Harun intended through this to completely impoverish the Imam’s family so that they would not even be able to provide food or clothing for themselves. Furthermore, no one dared to give anything to them.
Jalludi came to the door of Imam Reza’s house and said, “I have been ordered by Harun to take whatever is inside the house.”
Certainly, Imam Reza is infallible, and as an infallible one appointed by God, he possesses the power over all creation and realms. He could have, at any moment, willed to take his own life or destroyed Jalludi with a glance. But God, the Exalted, knows best where to place His power. If Imam Reza — may God protect us from such thoughts — had acted according to personal interests, he could have used his exalted power to annihilate Jalludi and his mercenaries. However, God wished to test him, so that the truth of the Ahl al-Bayt (the Holy Family) would become clear to the followers of Harun and Jalludi for generations to come, and through the trial by Ahl al-Bayt the true followers would be distinguished from their enemies.
Imam Reza prevented Jalludi from entering the house and told him that he himself would bring all the contents and members of the household to him. At first, Jalludi refused the Imam’s request, insisting that Harun’s order was for him personally to enter the house.
Jalludi intended, as he thought, to enter and loot the possessions and gold of the Imam’s family, much like the tragedy of Karbala. But the Imam insisted greatly and promised that he would bring all the belongings of the household to Jalludi. Eventually, the Imam’s insistence succeeded, and Jalludi accepted.
The Imam went inside and collected all the gold and valuables from the aunts, sisters, young boys, and girls, and, as promised to Jalludi, left them wearing only a single shirt.
The scene is heart-wrenching to imagine — how deeply grieved Imam Reza must have been, taking the gold from the women and children.
In a narration, it is mentioned that the daughters and sisters of Imam Musa ibn Ja’far‘ had only one garment each, which was apparently a summer shirt and inadequate for the winter cold.
Their blankets, quilts, and all their living necessities had been looted, so during the cold winter nights, they could not sleep due to the intense cold and during the day had to rest a little under the sun.
There are truths hidden deep within history that have not reached the ears of people. It is a pity that the people of today’s world remain unaware of them. These truths transform the worldview of humanity regarding the Infallible Imams, and thus are worthy of study and dissemination.
Even having a single shirt for praying was difficult for the women. For prayer, women must cover their entire body except for the face and the palms of their hands. Since they did not have a complete shirt to cover their bodies during prayer, one woman would hide herself somewhere so that another could use her shirt to cover her head or another part of her body while praying.
It is unlikely that many of the belongings confiscated from the Imam’s family were of any use to Jalludi and his men; they may even have discarded them. The modest possessions of the Imam’s family were insignificant compared to the vast wealth they squandered from the Muslim treasury. Amir al-Mu’minin — peace be upon him — refers to this in Nahj al-Balagha:
“They devour the wealth of Allah like a camel that breaks loose and grazes on spring plants.”
When a camel is released into a meadow, it does not merely sniff the flowers but tramples them. The Imam likens the destruction of the public treasury at the hands of oppressive rulers like Harun and his agents to this.
Harun, through this act, committed the utmost cruelty and oppression against the family of Imam Musa ibn Ja'far (peace be upon him). After some time, Harun was killed, and his son Ma'mun came to power. During this period, several of Harun’s ministers—including Jaludi—disagreed with Ma'mun on certain issues. Consequently, Ma'mun ordered them to be imprisoned.
They remained in prison until the day Ma'mun brought Imam Reza (peace be upon him) to Marv by his command. One day, in the presence of the Imam, Ma'mun ordered these men to be brought forth and executed by beheading. The executioner began to behead them one by one.
When it was Jaludi’s turn, the Imam quietly approached Ma'mun and said, “Spare this old man for me.” Jaludi, recalling the cruelty he had inflicted on the Imam’s family, feared that the Imam had filed a complaint against him and was seeking harsh revenge. So Jaludi implored Ma'mun, “By your oath, do not listen to what the Imam says, and do not act on his words.”
The Imam again quietly repeated his request to Ma'mun. Jaludi, possessed by a bad nature and thinking the Imam was plotting revenge, told Ma'mun, “By your father and God, do not carry out the Imam’s request regarding me.” Ma'mun refused to listen and ordered Jaludi’s execution.
Jaludi and his accomplices, who committed thousands of crimes and acts of oppression in this world, were condemned to Hell, where they will be punished for their deeds and their crimes revealed, as the Qur’an says:
“(On) the Day when secrets will be laid open.” (Qur’an 86:9)
Imam Reza (peace be upon him) had a pure and sincere intention, and he knew how people think. Therefore, he said, “Convey our words to the people, for if they become aware of our words, they will follow us.”
(عَلِمُوا مَحَاسِنَ كَلاَمِنَا لاَتَّبَعُونَا) — meaning when people realize the beauty and goodness in our teachings, they naturally follow our way, the path of virtue and righteousness.
Now consider, if merely speaking the words of the Ahl al-Bayt (peace be upon them) has such a profound impact on society, how much greater would the effect be if people acted according to the conduct and lifestyle of the Ahl al-Bayt?
We must all decide to learn from the infallible Imams (peace be upon them) and truly become followers of the Ahl al-Bayt in practice.
Regarding Jaludi and how he cut ties with the Imams (peace be upon them) through his deeds, Imam Reza (peace be upon him) still connected and treated him with kindness and grace. Of course, Jaludi himself was not worthy of this favor because of the injustice and crimes he committed, and he eventually met his destruction.
In conclusion, a person should try and resolve to live by the narration “صل من قطعك” (Maintain ties with those who sever ties with you) at every stage of life and with everyone, as much as possible. Do not reciprocate evil with evil, but rather respond to evil with good. Any success in this path is commendable, because if one does not follow this way, they will surely regret it in the Hereafter—and often even in this world.
We must make this narration a settled principle in our minds and practice it everywhere, because this is the path of virtue and the way to an ideal society (Medina al-Fadila).
While it is true that in some cases, due to specific legal and ethical circumstances, cutting ties may be necessary as a secondary ruling, generally one must strive to act upon this narration.
I pray that God, Blessed and Exalted, grants all of us success in attaining this great virtue.
Peace and blessings be upon Muhammad and his pure family.
